Image Credt: U-Boat Worx.
If you've ever sat in traffic and thought, "I wish I could just sink into the earth to escape this Prius in front of me," I have some spectacular news. You can't sink into the dirt, obviously - that's called a grave - but you can now sink into the ocean with the grace of a dolphin. The Dutch madmen over at U-Boat Worx have finally stopped teasing us with pretty pictures and actually built the Super Sub. It's an all-electric, three-person underwater rocket ship certified to plunge into the abyss. And it looks exactly like something a Bond villain would use to escape while his volcanic lair explodes.
I'm the first to roll my eyes at "startup vaporware" that promises time travel and delivers a cardboard box. But this Dutch crew has been building subs for over 20 years - they actually know their way around a ballast tank. After a few years of thorough testing in the crystal-clear waters of Curacao, the first production unit is finally going to a very wealthy, very lucky person this Thursday. It's passed all its safety trials with DNV, so it shouldn't turn into a very expensive soda can under pressure.
Image Credt: U-Boat Worx.
This sleek, 21.3-foot-long projectile isn't some plodding turtle - it has a top speed of 10.3 mph (9 knots). It might sound slow but in the world of personal submersibles, this is basically the Bugatti Chiron of the sea. Most private subs crawl along at a pathetic 3.4 mph. The Super Sub is literally three times faster. It's designed to out-swim a dolphin, though I suspect the dolphin might still win on style points since it doesn't require a 62-kWh battery pack to get moving.
The engineering under that glass bubble is pure electric wizardry. It's powered by a quartet of thrusters at the back delivering 134 horsepower (100 kW). But it's not all about straight-line speed - this red herring has wings! It uses hydrofoils and a pair of side thrusters to dance through the water. It can dive or climb at 45-degree angles - steep enough to make your lunch reappear if you aren't careful. Nimble, reactive, and entirely electric. I guess you can sneak up on a shark without waking it up. Though why you'd want to wake a shark is beyond my humble logic.
Image Credt: U-Boat Worx.
Inside, you've got a panoramic bubble canopy that offers a view so immersive you'll feel as if you've actually grown gills. It fits three people: one pilot and two passengers who are either screaming or reaching for their cameras. You can stay underwater for up to eight hours - plenty enough to find Atlantis. And if things go south, there's a 96-hour backup life support system. It scrubs the CO2, provides emergency oxygen, and keeps the lights on while you wait for someone to come find you. It's comforting.
Range-wise, you're looking at about 11.5 miles on a full charge. No, it's not a cross-Atlantic cruiser, but for exploring a reef or checking out a shipwreck, it's good enough. The whole rig weighs about as much as a small house, but underwater it's as light as a feather. The precision sonar system makes sure you don't accidentally pull a "Titanic" on a stray rock by automatically adjusting your path. That's great because if you can afford this, you probably haven't worked a day in your life, and your reflexes are likely shot.
Image Credt: U-Boat Worx.
How much does this aquatic plaything cost? The base price is hovering around $6 million - you could buy five of those "hoovering" hypercars or about a dozen slower personal subs for that kind of cash. It makes a $500,000 Nemo sub look like a bargain-bin toy from a gas station. It's an obscene amount of money for something that spends its life getting wet, but then again, looking like a high-tech goldfish has never been cheap.
Is it practical? Not a chance. Is it necessary? Don't be silly. But it is the coolest thing I've seen so far with a plug this year. The rest of the world is squabbling about range anxiety, and one lucky billionaire is about to go 1,000 feet deep and laugh at all of us. If I ever win the lottery, I'm buying one and painting it bright yellow. Until then - bathtub and a snorkel.
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