This Volvo Takes 'Safety First' to a Whole New, Bulletproof Level
Image Credit: Volvo.
I have always been fascinated by the engineering that makes the cars go, stop, and, occasionally, not fall apart. And I like the electric revolution - the silent, instant torque, the promise of a cleaner tailpipe. But just when things start to get a little bit quiet on the news end, a manufacturer comes along and builds something that reminds me we aren't all the same. There are people out there who see safety differently from you and me. And Volvo gets it.
You know Volvo. The sensible Swedes. The company that built its entire reputation on being the automotive equivalent of a warm, safe hug. Their cars are for dentists, architects, and people who think a wild Saturday night involves alphabetizing their spice rack.
Well, it seems someone in Gothenburg has been watching too many action movies, because they've decided to add a new, rather specific safety feature to their XC90 and XC60 plug-in hybrids: full-body armor.
Image Credit: Volvo.
That's right. You can now purchase a family-friendly, eco-conscious SUV that can reportedly shrug off 300 bullets. This isn't some aftermarket hack job, either. This is a factory-fresh option. It's for the person who wants to save the planet but is also deeply concerned they might have seriously upset a rival corporation, a shadowy government agency, or perhaps the entire parent-teacher association.
My first thought was, naturally, about the weight. Armor is heavy. It's the enemy of performance, efficiency, and everything we love about nimble vehicles. And I was right. The armored XC90, for instance, lugs around an extra 705 pounds.
That's like having a full-grown grizzly bear as a permanent passenger. To cope, Volvo has wisely fitted beefier brakes and a reinforced chassis. They swear, with a straight face, that it drives just like the standard car. I'm sure it does. And I'm sure a grizzly bear makes a quiet and considerate travel companion.
Image Credit: Volvo.
But here's the bit that gets the electric-nerd in me buzzing. Despite carrying around the weight of a small zoo animal, this armored beastie is still a plug-in hybrid. It still packs the same punchy 455-horsepower powertrain. And it can still glide along on pure, silent electric power for up to 41 miles. Think about that.
You can cruise through your neighborhood, unnoticed, cocooned in a steel-and-aramid womb, without burning a single drop of gas. It's the ultimate stealth-mobile for the eco-conscious secret agent. The trunk space shrinks by about a cubic foot, but that's a small price to pay for being impervious to small arms fire, isn't it?
The process of creating one of these rolling fortresses is fascinating. They don't just weld some steel plates on and call it a day. This is methodical, Scandinavian precision. They build a perfectly good XC90, then immediately take it apart. They 3D-scan the entire structure and then custom-fabricate multiple layers of aramid - the stuff in bulletproof vests - and stainless steel components to integrate seamlessly into the car's body and roof.
Image Credit: Volvo.
The glass is replaced with a thick, laminated sandwich of ballistic-grade polycarbonate and glass. It's so robust that, as a little "feature," the rear windows don't open. At all. Tell your kids it's for their own safety, which, for once, is demonstrably true.
What I truly love, though, is the subtlety. There are no Batmobile-esque flourishes here. It looks, for all the world, like every other XC90 in the Whole Foods parking lot. There's no external clue that you're driving a vehicle certified to NIJ IIIA and VPAM 2009 standards, which, I'm told, is a very big deal in the world of personal protection.
This literally is the ultimate "gray man" car. You can blend in anywhere, secure in the knowledge that your car is tougher than a two-dollar steak. All the regular Volvo sensors, cameras, and radars remain, so it will still help you avoid bumping into lampposts while you're busy avoiding assassins.
Image Credit: Volvo.
Unfortunately, if you want one of those bulletproof Volvos, you can't just stroll into a dealership with a suitcase full of cash - or, I suppose, a crypto-wallet full of whatever - and drive off in one. Volvo is, quite rightly, a bit picky about who gets the keys.
They conduct a thorough screening of potential buyers to ensure their armored cars don't fall into the hands of the "wrong sort." So, if you're a deposed dictator with a love for plug-ins, you might be out of luck.
Image Credit: Volvo.
There's no word on price, but I imagine it falls somewhere between "eye-watering" and "you could buy a nice house instead." But for that undisclosed sum, you get the standard Volvo warranty and service coverage. It's reassuring to know that even if you're on a watchlist, your heated steering wheel is still covered for parts and labor.
This armored Volvo is a magnificent contradiction. It's a quiet, efficient, and understated family SUV that also happens to be a personal security detail on wheels. It's a vehicle that says, "I care about my carbon footprint, but I also have a non-zero concern about being ambushed on the way to soccer practice."
