This is what BMW i3 Touring might look like. Image Credit: Captain Electro.
I always believed if you want a proper car, it should come with a roof long enough to play a quick round of golf on it and a tailpipe that makes a noise like an angry lion. Times have changed. A lot. All we talk about now are electric cars - silly fast but sooo quiet... It'll take some getting used to, but that's apparently progress. BMW unveiled its new i3 this week and by all means - an exciting vehicle. I have almost no issues with it (apart from it being awkwardly tall), but watching the premiere I felt something was missing.
And at that right moment, BMW went and did something rather cheeky, as if they could read my mind. While everyone was staring at the four-door like it was the second coming of sliced bread, a shadowy silhouette appeared on the screen behind CEO Oliver Zipse. It was the "Neue Klasse" 3-Series Touring. My heart did a little jig, and it wasn't the caffeine.
This is what BMW i3 Touring might look like. Image Credit: Captain Electro.
The i3 sedan is a perfectly lovely bit of kit if you enjoy looking like a middle manager with a sensible haircut. But the Touring? That's the one - the "do-it-all" hero I've been waiting for. Classic Hofmeister kink, a stretched roofline, and enough cargo space to haul a year's supply of my favorite drink. BMW is calling this the "Neue Klasse" era - it must be German for "we've finally figured out how to make batteries look sexy."
A quick look back at the i3's spec sheet reveals the potential of the new Touring version. The top-tier i3 50 xDrive is packing 463 horsepower. That's enough poke to beat most sports cars away from the lights while you've got a flat-pack wardrobe in the back. Even more impressive is the range. BMW claims this electric beast will travel 400 miles on a single charge. That's enough to drive from wherever you live to somewhere much further away than the local pub, which is all anyone really needs.
This is what BMW i3 Touring might look like. Image Credit: Captain Electro.
Of course, because the universe loves a bit of mystery, we aren't entirely sure what's under the skin of every model. There's a chance the Touring will be electric-only, but the whispers suggest petrol and diesel versions might hang around on an updated platform. Personally, I'm holding out for the M Touring version. A pure electric M3 wagon? I'd sell my own grandmother for one of those, and she was a lovely woman…
Since BMW wouldn't reveal any more details, I jumped on the "fake intelligence" train and employed my kids to conjure the images you see here. And boy oh boy - what a looker it could be - the design is sleek, modern, and actually handsome. That's something I haven't said about BMW in a very, very long time. It lacks the "spaceship" desperation of most modern EVs - it looks like a BMW should. Very fast, very quiet, very practical BMW. Oliver Zipse mentioned that business users and families would be "delighted." It's the ultimate suburban status symbol that can actually haul the groceries without killing the polar bears.
This is what BMW i3 M Touring might look like. Image Credit: Captain Electro.
There is, however, a massive, rain-soaked cloud on the horizon. We won't see these beauties on the road until at least 2027 or 2028. That's an eternity! I could have learned to play the bagpipes by then. To make matters worse, there's no guarantee this long-roofed masterpiece will even make it to North American shores. BMW, if you're listening, don't be cruel. We want our electric rockets, and we want them with a tailgate that opens.
If the "Neue Klasse" is the future, then the future I choose looks like a wagon. I'm perfectly fine with that. Fast, gorgeous, and it doesn't require a degree in rocket science to understand why it's cool. It's a car that says, "I have a life, I have hobbies, and I can still leave you in a cloud of silent dust at the green light." Trust me - these are important things.
This is what BMW i3 Touring might look like. Image Credit: Captain Electro.
Just in case, I've already started a "Touring Fund." No more fancy scotch, no more silly gadgets. I'm saving every penny for the day I can finally plug in my wagon and drive into the sunset. Please, BMW, don't make me wait until I'm too old to remember where I parked the bloody thing.
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Related article from Captain Electro on MSN:
Is the new BMW i3 a real 3 series? That’s a tall order… literally
